That was Fun While it {Bleep}

Kids say the darndest things, don’t they? I know my kid definitely has some doozies but up until now she miraculously NEVER repeated “naughty” words.

For those of you who know me, you know that I’m bit of a potty mouth – and I like it. In the past I could say things like, “Shit, I stubbed my toe!” and Ella would say, “You ok mommy? You hurt your toe?” Glorious. Swearword-free and compassionate!

However I did start out by saying “up until now.” This past weekend Ella was being naughty, which is not new, and I finally flipped and said, “You better knock it off right now before I spank your little ass!” She looked at me with a smirk on her face and proceeded to say, “Oooh, you want to spank my ass?” Envision this as she is shoving her bottom in my face and spanking her own butt. I was a bit shocked, but mostly trying not to laugh. She repeated it again as she bounced closer to me, her hand still swatting her hiney. I immediately scolded, “You do NOT say that again. Her response – “Why, you not want to spank my ass now?”

So that’s over now. No more swearing and censorship is the motto of our house. It’s going to be quite challenging for us, but on the bright side she doesn’t say the words unprompted, only repeats them. I guess this just means it’s all our fault if she continues. Dammit!


This Too Shall Pass

It seems that as of late, I am continuously whispering this ancient proverb numerous times just to make it through the day. My common stressors range from everyday work struggles to trying to juggle too many things at one time to fighting with Ella every day to complete the most basic tasks.

Each day as issues arise I try to remain calm and tell myself, “This too shall pass.” As a matter of fact the image to the right monopolizes the 27″ of space on one of my work monitors.

Hopefully tomorrow is no different. Ella is scheduled for surgery to replace her tubes in her ears at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning. In the grand scheme of things, the surgery is minor. It’s definitely not like the 3 hour surgery at 4 months old where we anxiously awaited as our surgeon reconstructed our precious little girls face, or like the 4 hour palate repair at 10 months old-which resulted in a very long and painful recovery.

As a matter of fact, we have been through this surgery before and it was a breeze. It seemed we had barely sat down in the waiting room to drink our coffee and the ENT had called us back in to see our little lady.

So why am I so nervous? Probably because “we” really haven’t been through this before. Ella has. Yes we wait and stress and pray, but we aren’t really experiencing anything. She is.

I would give anything in the world to trade places with her. I just want to go through it first so I can honestly tell her what to expect. I hate blindly saying, “Honey – everything is going to be okay. It’s not going to hurt.” What the hell do I know? I have never even had stitches in my 29 years of life (childbirth doesn’t count), let alone gone through 4 surgeries by the age of 3. I have never been under anesthesia and with the exception of childbirth, I have never been in the hospital. Nothing.

The one thing to ease my mind? Ella is the strongest person I know. Tomorrow she will go through surgery and she will bounce back quicker than we could have ever imagined. We will bring her home and she will go back to playing with her dolls, singing her songs and entertaining us as usual. Wishful thinking? Maybe. Even so, this too shall pass.

Photo: November 2010 – Ella playing right before we went into  tube surgery the last time.