Love So Hard

IMG_6563Somehow it’s that time of year again…we are en route to our annual vacation, this time to Punta Cana. This year we decided to mix it up a bit – Ella’s spring break isn’t until April 10th & we didn’t want to leave for someplace warm just as it’s starting to get nice (ignore the 70 day in February) in Wisconsin.

That means she still needs to get to school though, so for the first time we hired a nanny to stay with the kids for a few days. We feel very fortunate to have someone who 1) is willing, 2) we trust and 3) the kids like. Ms. Krissy works at our daycare and Will loves her, so it’s nice that our timid one will be comfortable.

That doesn’t mean it comes without worry & a whole lot of planning. I HATE asking people for things – even if I pay them, so IF I do so, I want to make it as convenient as possible for them. That means a whole lot of meal planning, cleaning & list making ahead of time.

Planning for Will was quite easy, just lay out clothes for each day & Krissy can take him to & from work with her. Ella on the other hand was a different story. Yes, there was laying out her clothes, but there were also check lists to make sure she packed her lunch, remembered her helmet (they’re rollerblading in gym class), got to Drew’s on-time and a list of responsibilities too – mostly all dealing with the pets. Feed the fish, let the dogs out, kennel the dogs, leave the basement door open for Mac, feed the animals, etc. You never realize how much goes into a daily routine until you have to write it all down – and that’s a lot to remember for an 8 year old!

By the time the planning was nearly complete, I was more than ready for this vacation. The kids were feeling a mix of emotions too – a bit or nerves, some sadness and a lot of excitement! They were so wound up yesterday afternoon that we wanted to murder them. They were driving us crazy! We couldn’t wait to get in the car and out of that house.

At the same time, saying goodbye is always hard. You’re re-running all of the lists in your head to make sure you told the nanny everything and checking to make sure you’ve packed everything you’ll need. We said our goodbyes & got into the car and immediately I felt…guilt & sadness. #momlife. How could I feel bad two seconds into the trip. I didn’t express my feelings but instead called my mom to make sure she had everything she needed for the second part of the trip. Continuing to plan kept my mind off of it, plus Ella & I were texting the whole time. We got to our hotel and as we laid down for bed I finally said out loud, “how can I miss the kids already?” It had been less than 4 hours. They were driving us crazy. We couldn’t wait to go. And yet here I was missing them.

How can you both love & strongly dislike someone so hard?!

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Keepin’ Up

Last week we celebrated St. Patrick’s day. Even though I’m Irish (no clue on what percent) I didn’t grow up celebrating that holiday. I mean, I celebrated in college, but I’m pretty sure there’s more to the day than donning your favorite green attire & drinking copious amounts of Guinness & Jameson.

So as I was planting evidence of a sneaky leprechaun throughout our house at 1:30 a.m. the night before, I wondered how I got here. In fact when I posted the evidence of Sneaky Sam’s (yes our leprechaun has a name) arrival on Facebook the next day, I caught flack from one of my most honest friends (which also makes her one of my favorites).

stpattysIn fairness I saw the comment coming, because as I was toilet papering both kids rooms, I knew how ridiculous it was to 1) be wasting two roles of perfectly good tp and 2) to be making a mess I’d have to clean up. And even more to her credit – she knows me & knows I hate “stupid” things like that. In fact, I’m the mean mom who refuses to do Elf on Shelf.

So why did I do it and what does this have to do with keeping up?

St. Patrick’s Day is just one of MANY holidays and events that have changed from when I was a kid. Valentine’s Day this year did not consist of a handmade card & a piece of candy. Instead Ella got Will an oversized, robotic dinosaur. In return he got her a large beanbag chair for her room…plus the card, candy, etc.

Easter is in one week. My mom called to ask what she should get the kids! Ella wants a new bike (note: that does not say needs..it says wants). She has been told she’ll have to use the money she’s saved to buy it herself. When I was discussing it with my mom, she suggested maybe we could get it for her for Easter. What?! It’s Easter. You get jellybeans & hunt for Easter Eggs, you do not get a $100+ bicycle.

Everywhere you turn, there’s pressure to do more. Go bigger. I HAD to decorate for the leprechaun. He goes to every kids home and if he didn’t pitstop at our house, the kids would wonder why it was different for them. “Why doesn’t the leprechaun like us?” It’s expected..and not just by our kids. Our teacher emailed a reminder ahead of time. Everyone asked our kids if they saw the leprechaun and what tricks he pulled and treats he left behind.

Right now as my aforementioned friend is reading this, I can hear her thinking something like, “life’s not fair. Kids need to learn that they don’t get everything they want. If you hate doing it, why do you?”

All valid points and again, things I whole-heartedly agree with (it’s why we’re friends)! However some battles aren’t worth fighting and if it only takes two rolls of toilet paper to make our kids happy, then I’m going to do it because…it’s easier.

And please don’t be mistaken, I’m still not doing Elf on the Shelf, because ain’t nobody got time for that!

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We’re Back

That’s right! After a 2-month hiatus, I’m finally making time to blog again. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, it’s just that I’ve had zero time to dedicate to it. Recently I’ve been swamped by work (more so than normal) and extremely tired. That typically makes my normal midnight blog more challenging. Never fear, I’m equipped with a hot cup of Joe (don’t be perverted) and my brain is full of things. Don’t get your hopes up though, most of what’s flowing is more of an update vs. deep, insightful stuff.

Obviously a lot has happened since I last wrote in April. Highlights include; participating in March for Babies 2015, running in our first Cheetah Chase, finishing Kindergarten, visiting family & friends, Will’s first baseball game, picking up new hobbies, acting like animals at the zoo, enjoying parade candy and most recently our fun-filled 4th of July weekend.

While we often have a lot of fun with our kids on the weekends, we also like to be productive and throw in some projects as well. Over the 4th though, we made a pact to not add in projects and have as much fun as possible. My goal was to cram in so many things that the kids crashed and I’m happy to say we were successful!

The festivities began on Thursday night, as we took in the Elver Park fireworks with friends. On Friday we didn’t have daycare, which normally means Joe & I divide and conquer and one would handle the kids, while the other worked or tackled some projects. Instead we decided that there was no better time to invite friends over for a little pool fun, grilling and more importantly, day drinking. We spent the entire day outside enjoying the beautiful weather and fantastic company. The kids swam, ran through the sprinkler and we capped the night with fireworks, s’mores and a bonfire.

On Saturday the weather was still beautiful/hot so we spent the day at the pool. Ella had a blast practicing her swimming skills and Will enjoyed being chauffeured around the water. Since we already killed the grass and had the wood, we had another bonfire and finished the night with a family movie.

On Sunday Joe really wanted to go fishing so we set out for the local fishing hole. Our kids are definitely not the most patient, so fishing is always a challenge. Unfortunately the fish weren’t biting but we had a great time and were able to get a nature walk in as well. We packed up quickly to make it to the movie Inside Out. This was our first time taking Will to the movie theater and he did a great job. The movie was cute and definitely made me sad to think about my kiddo’s growing up too quickly and them having to process so many different feelings and emotions.

After coming home for lunch, the boys ran some errands and the girls headed out for some pampering. Ella has wanted to get a pedicure for quite some time now, so I finally caved. We had a great experience and I’m happy to say, four days later, she still has polish on her toes (that’s a major feat, trust me)!

Sometimes it’s nice to take a break from all the stress and chaos and focus 100% on what the kids would want to do. Joe & I had a great time and hopefully the kids did too!

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Look for the Good

imageEarly wake up call, lugging heavy bags, standing in line and cramped quarters. That’s how I started my day, so you wouldn’t expect me to say, “man, do I love flying!” And for the most part that’s true, but there is good in everything, you just have to look for it.

Starting with our seats on the plane. Joe & I didn’t get to sit with each other but we were both near a little boy who was experiencing his first flight. Watching his excitement & joy (and a bit of nervousness) as the wings left the ground was awesome! Our view of the morning sunset over the Chicago skyline was the cherry on top. Will would have loved all the beautiful colors.

I also love the time to reflect in silence and write. Between the kids, the hubby, the animals and work – I’m never alone, not even to shower or go to the bathroom – so moments like this are non-existent and I appreciate them!

The thing to be most grateful for is our final destination, as we are on our way to Huatulco, Mexico for the next 5 days. Once again my parents (mom, really) are keeping the kids so that we can spend some quality time together. Some might say we are selfish & don’t prioritize family, but I completely disagree. Sure, I’ll miss the kids and know they would love to come with, but I think the best thing we can give them is two parents who love each other & take time to focus on just us. We’ll take them on trips when they are bigger and besides, who doesn’t love Grandma Camp?

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Funemployment

JUP-SpaWomanAAs my last post vaguely mentioned, I decided that there was no better time to quit my job. I wasn’t in love with the role and life is too short to spend every day doing something you’re not happy with. That means I have been enjoying some funemployment for the last two weeks. Going in I envisioned my time off looking something like this ——->

I have a hard time doing nothing, so of course I have been keeping a journal of the things I’m accomplishing each day. On Day #1, I allowed myself to just sit on the couch, to drink my coffee and fill my brain with a ton of things I wanted to do with my time.  I made a list (duh) and felt energized to get things done!

Day #2 Will was running a fever so we stayed home together. While we were playing in the office (read, Toy Room) I decided I could no longer take the chaos and decided to purge and reorganize. Man did that feel good after it was done. Day #3 I was lucky enough to grab lunch with a dear friend at my favorite pizza joint, Porta Alba. This is no joke – if you live in, around or near Madison, you MUST go there. (Side note: I always order the Vegitariana pizza and it’s to die for!) This sounds so cheesy, but it was nice to spend time as just the two of us. Normally we have our kiddo’s & husbands in tow, making conversation more challenging.

Day #4 started with a visit to my hair stylist, who is one of the most talented & caring people I know. I love visiting her and this time was extra special because I learned she is expecting her first baby! I was then off to another great lunch date with three very close friends. I’ve decided that I’m never finding a job and will become a lady who lunches.  I haven’t figured out how to pay for those lunches but that’s not of importance! I spent the rest of the afternoon evaluating insurance plans (yuck)! Since that was no fun (understatement of the century) I decided to pick Ella up from school early and finally make our closed terrariums. Let’s hope they are as low-maintenance as they say!

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Day #5 I decided it was time to get down to business. Yes, I still had a lunch date with an old coworker, but I also cleaned and purged more of the house. Day #6 we had no school or daycare so it was me & the kiddo’s again. Ella was invited to a friends house for a playdate and had a blast. Will and I decided we would go for donuts, visit the pet store and grab lunch with dad. Day # 7 started out with some pampering, as I decided to give myself a manicure I saw on Pinterest. I then spent the rest of the day doing some real “work” for Kella Design.

Day #8 yet again included a lunch date with a great new friend. It was so much fun to chat with her and it turns out we both have something in common, we’re raising an extremely challenging and spirited 6 year old little lady! I can’t tell you how nice it is to find someone who can totally relate to what it’s like to parent someone like Ella. The constant struggle to “get her under control” all while trying to not squash her “spirit.” Day #9 was originally jam packed with meetings, but of course my OCD-self was starting to feel stressed that I hadn’t accomplished enough of the projects from my list, so I cleared my schedule. The morning started with some baby shower planning (my brother & SIL are expecting twins!!) and then quickly moved to house projects. We have been in a process of painting ALL of the trim in our house and had yet to tackle the trim in Ella’s room. This is when I was quickly reminded why I don’t normally paint my nails. So much for the manicure! I then did laundry, cleaned and purged the kids bedrooms and made an amazing dinner (again).

That brings me to Day #10, today! Ella has early release and she’s decided that she wants to spend it with mom. Turns out that no matter how much fun she had at her playdate, she’s extremely jealous of Will’s one-on-one time with mom. So we’re repeating the same day that Will & I had.

The days haven’t gone exactly as I planned and they definitely do not look like the peaceful spa image, but I have enjoyed them nonetheless. After looking at the journal, I feel like I have done a good job at balancing my time with a little pampering, a lot of productivity, projects crossed off the list, some great homemade meals and quality time spent with family & friends. I’m not entirely sure how much funemployment time I have left, but yesterday we got a healthcare bill in the mail and as Ella opened it she said, “wow, that’s a lot – mom, you better get back to work and make some money!” So I plan to continue to fill the days with as much as I possibly can because I’ll likely not get a chance like this again.

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