I have probably watched more television during my maternity leave than I have in the past five years put together. Today on The View (which I don’t actually like all that much) a topic of conversation was whether it’s better to have kids young when you have the energy to keep up or wait until you’re older and have the money to raise them. The ladies were split in their opinions – Whoopi had a baby at 18 and was happy with her decision, while Elisabeth felt it was important to wait and have the money to provide a proper upbringing.
It’s no secret that we didn’t plan Ella’s arrival and even though I was 26 years old, I felt very young at the time. That being said, I wouldn’t change a single thing and tend to agree more with Whoopi than Elisabeth. If we would have waited until we actually had the money to raise children – we would still be childless and dwindling our earnings on dinner and drinks.
We try our best to give Ella as many new experiences possible, but the most expensive doesn’t necessarily translate to the most memorable. Some of the best times are moments like last night – as our neighbors watched us playing “Bears” outside after dinner. To paint the picture – Joe was up in a tree, I was hiding behind our fence and Ella was chasing us, roaring as loud as she could. She didn’t care how much money we have – our house, our cars, our “things” – did not matter. All she needed was our time and attention – to play and to love.
However, while I typically disagree with most things Elisabeth says – she has a point. Having kids is something that you’ll never be fully prepared for. They change every aspect of your life; your relationship with your significant other/spouse, your friendships, your career, your social life, etc. So the more steps you can take to try and prepare yourself – especially financially – the easier the transition might be.
And while I don’t think kids care how much money you have – especially when little – I do think that as adults we stress most about finances. If you don’t have to think about those issues, your relationship with your significant other/spouse won’t be nearly as strained – and your kids will notice and appreciate that.
We definitely need the extra energy to be able to keep up with Ella, but having enough money makes it easier to be stress free, give 100% of our attention and climb the tree!
Finding a balance between being a career woman, wife, mother and friend.
We were young when we had our first child, 18 to be exact. Too young! Then, our second child was born when we were 23. Still, too young! I think it’s definitely better to wait. Twenty six seems like a good age to have had a first baby, though. And, I think definitely birth spacing is so important. I am a bit envious of friends who are about age 40 (even though I’m in my 50’s) and who now have children that are school age, between 6 and 12. I had kids in college at age 40. I think I would have been a better parent if I had been older…..pretty darn lucky as I have two great grown children! And yes, I am pretty darn energetic to keep up with my little grandchild. Not old yet! Your Ella is pretty darn lucky and sounds like you all are having lots of family fun!!! Keep up the good work.