Overdue Update

A new year is supposed to bring new resolution’s and a renewed energy towards the things that matter. Apparently that did not apply to this blog…as it’s now March and I haven’t wrote since November ’15 :( It’s not that this doesn’t matter to me, because it does (a lot), but so much has happened since I last wrote that it hasn’t allowed for the focus necessary to write anything meaningful.

My last post came from a place of sadness. We had just lost my grandpa and our dog all within the same week. That alone is excuse enough to take a break from writing (in my opinion), but there have been many other things that have prevented me from writing.

The largest distraction has been our business, Kella Design. Earlier in 2015 I had made up my mind that I was going to dive into our business full-time. On top of our other career commitments we had been juggling Kella at the same time for far too long. While it’s been the best decision we’ve made in a long time, it’s also taken a lot of time & energy.

We celebrated several special events, including Ella turning 7! It seems like each year we have the same number of parties as her years on this earth. In addition to her family bashes, this year she was able to plan a friend party that was complete with hand painting pottery. We’ve attended several other birthday parties too. One for 3 of our 5 nieces – in the beginning of February the twins turned 1 already (I bet their parents don’t think it went as fast) and Paige turned 10 at the end of the month (how did that happen?) It was nice to spend time with family and we had a blast sledding.

Of course Christmas was in there as well and Santa even decided to bring our kiddo’s a new puppy. He’s been a fantastic addition, minus the fact that he almost died shortly after joining us. After a several days at the emergency vet and a whole bunch of money later, we think he’s on the mend.

The kids have been busy as well. Ella is still in gymnastics, but also participated in poms and recently finished her first basketball camp. For the first time she actually showed some interest and practiced to improve her skills. That’s a major improvement for her, so we’re pretty proud! I was also able to talk her into chopping her hair off (finally). There really was no other option, as her long hair was impossible to take care of and it had to go – however, I was only able to push her past a trim by convincing her to donate it to Locks of Love. We just attended her Spring Music Recital at school and she was very happy to have us there.

Will has fully committed to making the year of 3 his own. He is still a very sweet little boy, but not necessarily to us! If I counted how many times he tells me that “he’s not my best buddy” each day, I would have to focus on nothing else. Despite that, he’s been great at daycare and has even been recognized for his kindness to his friends! Let’s hope this threenager phase is over soon. He’ll soon finish up swimming lessons and we just signed him up for soccer. He still loves building with his blocks and has really embraced music. He & Ella sing and entertain us with their guitar’s more than most pro’s.

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Independence

I grew up as a tomboy in small town Wisconsin. Rough & tumble and needing no favors from anyone. I was hell bent on showing everyone I was just as capable as all the boys I was raised with and could hold my own in any situation.

I’ve carried that mentality throughout my whole life and until recently I’ve always valued & appreciated it. When getting a flat tire, I change it myself. When a house needs shingles, a fence needs built, a heavy object needs moved… I’m right there. I have defied gender stereotypes and always been proud to do so.

Along with the free feeling of independence, comes another set of side effects. When a female is trying to defy the norm, it requires a tough exterior. There is no crying when someone wrongs you because you’re not supposed to. There is no asking for help, EVER … because it admits defeat.

That makes the people around you begin to think that you don’t need anything from them. That was the point of being so stubborn all those years, right? However, that also means they think they can treat you a little bit differently because you’ve shown them that it’s ok.

Your coach is always harder on you because, “you can take it.” Your boss always has the highest expectations from you because you consistently meet them. People in general aren’t as sensitive to your feelings as they should be because they think you don’t have them.fierce

Now that I have a daughter of my own I think more about things like this. Who do I want her to be? How do I want her to be treated?

I am still proud that I can do things on my own, however I don’t like that I’ve trained those around me to expect it.

I absolutely want her to be independent and strong & she’s already fierce, but I don’t want it to come at the cost of how she’s treated by others. I want her to feel valued & appreciated and not get walked on because she’s trained people to think that it’s acceptable.

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