Independence

I grew up as a tomboy in small town Wisconsin. Rough & tumble and needing no favors from anyone. I was hell bent on showing everyone I was just as capable as all the boys I was raised with and could hold my own in any situation.

I’ve carried that mentality throughout my whole life and until recently I’ve always valued & appreciated it. When getting a flat tire, I change it myself. When a house needs shingles, a fence needs built, a heavy object needs moved… I’m right there. I have defied gender stereotypes and always been proud to do so.

Along with the free feeling of independence, comes another set of side effects. When a female is trying to defy the norm, it requires a tough exterior. There is no crying when someone wrongs you because you’re not supposed to. There is no asking for help, EVER … because it admits defeat.

That makes the people around you begin to think that you don’t need anything from them. That was the point of being so stubborn all those years, right? However, that also means they think they can treat you a little bit differently because you’ve shown them that it’s ok.

Your coach is always harder on you because, “you can take it.” Your boss always has the highest expectations from you because you consistently meet them. People in general aren’t as sensitive to your feelings as they should be because they think you don’t have them.fierce

Now that I have a daughter of my own I think more about things like this. Who do I want her to be? How do I want her to be treated?

I am still proud that I can do things on my own, however I don’t like that I’ve trained those around me to expect it.

I absolutely want her to be independent and strong & she’s already fierce, but I don’t want it to come at the cost of how she’s treated by others. I want her to feel valued & appreciated and not get walked on because she’s trained people to think that it’s acceptable.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Pinterest

Let It Go

No. Even though you’ll often hear this tune playing in our house, car, sleep (I swear) – I am not referring to the insanely popular song sung by Elsa from Frozen. I am however talking about the only resolution I’m making in 2015.

Let it go. Everything! My job, my house, my kids & my marriage. Don’t start to panic, I haven’t lost my mind. I don’t mean that I’m literally letting go of those things (with the exception of my job), but I am working to let go of the small things tied to those important parts of my life.

I’m focusing on being grateful for the things our home already provides instead of seeing the “flaws” I want to fix. It doesn’t always have to look immaculate and magazine-worthy. Toys can be seen laying around and there might be some dirty dishes left on the counter. It doesn’t matter, let it go!

I will try to yell less. I know this is going to be a challenge, but I really want to find a way to make this happen because it’s not healthy for any of us and frankly – our kids deserve it. There is no way they are going to stop running, fighting, yelling and I don’t expect them to miraculously listen – but that’s what we signed on for and again, as long as they are not hurt – it doesn’t matter, let it go!

keep-calm-seriously-in-this-house-17I think if I can follow through on my first two goals, my marriage will improve as well. We are always so stressed because we are doing too many things at one time. Less home improvement projects will allow for more focused time to spend with the kids. Hopefully that added attention will eliminate some of the battles we’re constantly fighting on a daily basis. Lower standards for my children will provide less stress and hopefully less yelling and you know what they say, happy wife = happy life, right?

The year of 2014 was good to us, but I’m confident that 2015 will be even better. I will do my best to keep calm, even while living in this house amongst the inevitable chaos.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Pinterest

Goals

Those pesky little things that nag you when not reached. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so goal oriented, but as a friend told me recently, “that’s just who you are!”¬†One of my goals for 2012 was to blog more. I didn’t set specific criteria, i.e. once a day, week, month, etc. I just wanted to do better each month compared to 2011.

I started off a little slow by only blogging once in January & February, which was the same as the year before. When March & April rolled around though, I was off to the races. I blogged 4 times in March and 5 times in April, compared to once in each month of 2011. I should have felt happy, right?

Nope. Just as I am goal oriented I’m also always pushing to improve and am never satisfied. So I looked back to 2010. I was so surprised! I blogged all the time when I started this journey, a total of 31 times for the year and I started in April.

Thus, my goals changed. I now compare to 2010. What is wrong with me? This blog is supposed to be enjoyable. It’s not competitive, yet somehow I’m competing with myself! How is that even possible? This takes my competitive nature to a whole new level.

Being goal oriented isn’t all bad I suppose. It’s allowed me to build a pretty successful career, while also raising two beautiful kids & maintaining a happy relationship with my hubby (blah blah blah blah). I know I should blog when, “it feels right,” but I do want to continue to push myself to write. Regardless of how chaotic things get this is an outlet that allows me to get some thoughts out of my brain & hopefully as I look back, remember this time in our lives.

Nonetheless, November 2012 is looking pretty good because this is my second entry for the month – which is better than 2011 & 2010!

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Pinterest